Up

Lately I've been obsessed with the Jason Mraz song, "Up".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DcyBZpTw9Y

If you listen to him talk about the inspiration for the song, he speaks a lot about how beautiful a relationship is when there is no ceiling to it, no limitations. The love that you have for each other breaks boundaries and makes the impossible possible.

Last night I watched Black Swan again, and it's amazing to me how much my perspective has changed in the 6 months since I last saw it. The first time I saw it all I could think about was the arts and how much we have to internalize what we do. I cognitively understood the juxtaposition of black versus white but I almost took it as a good versus evil. That couldn't be further from the truth. My mom tried to talk about this with me when we saw it and I exploded at her. Well mom, I think I get it more now. There is a place and time for the white swan, for control and logic. But the black swan is the side in all of us that gets lost in passion- in what we want and where we want to go. I think that especially for me the white swan has become very overactive and is actually limiting what I am capable of. It's putting a ceiling on what I want for myself and the life I want to lead. I know where I want to go, I know what makes me happy and it is my responsibility to myself and my own piece of mind to follow that wherever it takes me.

So here's to taking the limitations off of every part of our lives, whether it be a relationship with a lover, a friend, or with our self.

Taking the ceiling out,
Mariah

"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison

I am struggling to find a way to find my voice, to be able to shout to the heavens what I have to say. I want to tell you my story. I want to be able to release this something in a way that is me. I want to release in a way that brings me peace. I have so much to say, how do I say it? Where is my voice?

Jena inspires me with her perspective and desire to be simple. Check out the words she is laying down here:

http://llenadehummus.tumblr.com/

Holla.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPRm6u7tuPE

Goodbye for now

To all of those who even glance at this thing anymore- I'm laying off for a while. Maybe permanently. We'll see. I just have nothing left to write.
Much love,
Mariah

The Journey
By Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

He came so we could forgive ourselves.

I strive to live my life in a way that shows Him gratitude.

Cosmo ruined my life.

So I recently purchased an issue of Cosmo because I thought, hey, why not? I used to read them all the time and even remember Nneka reading one in the high school cafeteria and giggling like...well like a school girl. But as I was reading through this I am becoming progressively more disgusted. Everything talks about "We polled guys and they think this thing is the most attractive." or "you should wear metallic nail polish out because it's hot and guys think it's so in right now."
That's ridiculous. And to think I used to plan my life around what they said I should do! How sad!
Moral of the story: Be yourself and everything will fall into place after that.

I am grateful for liking someone and not having any expectations come from it. It's really...nice.

Mariah


God Says Yes To Me
by Kaylin Haught
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes