There is a place of silence in me that I am rediscovering and it feels to freaking good. It's hard for me to write about it because it's mine and I'm scared of losing it again. Now, I know this somewhat defeats the purpose of the strength that the center of us is supposed to have, all of that always be yourself kind of a thing, but hey I'm rediscovering here.
The point is- colors are getting brighter, the world is expanding, the light is coming back in. I feel more in control of my life- not that I can control what happens to me but realizing that the true strength is how you react when things do happen. Or maybe for once deciding to be PRO-active instead of RE-active. I think that's a big one for me. There are so many cool people out there! How cool is that! And that I no longer depend on them to define me! So long I went through things thinking, "That's not the real me." Well, that's not altogether true. It was me all along. And I own that- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It may not have been an action that put me on the path of who I wanted to become, but it was me. Ownage. And with this realization the pride compliments the guilt and the stability balances the confusion.
I apologize if this blog has taken an unexpected turn in recent months- I've been riding the struggle bus for a while. Striving to yo-yo back to some kind of center. So, bear with me if you will. Is it bare? Bear. Right??
Enjoy the day.
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