I miss Grandma Joan a lot.
It's weird because I didn't think about how much a part of my life she was until she was gone. I really did think about her almost every day because the things she gave me to watch over me litter my room. My rosary, a book, a little wooden picture of Mary and Jesus.
The rosary is on my bed stand and has lived there for years. Whenever I feel sad or absolutely alone or scared I reach for it. I guess I can still do that, and I still get some comfort from it but it makes me really sad to think she's not around anymore. It's really hard to think about how there will be no more memories formed from the two of us spending time together. I realize that she was human and that she had flaws but for me she became such a symbol of unconditional love and support. She was always there, she was always visitable. I was always in her heart, and there was always someone out there who loved me.
I just miss her a lot I guess, miss her singing and the days where she would drink Manhattans.
It'll be OK, these are just some thoughts that have been going through my head and then I had a dream about her last night that made me need to get this out somewhere.

On the bright side, I'm getting my first private students this week!!! I am so flippin excited to actually TEACH. Bah. This is great.

I'm also taking a modern dance and beginning drawing classes next quarter! Also very excited about that. I like this, "I'm taking charge of my education" thing.

More power to you to make the changes you want to see in your life,
Mariah