The Turning Point

I wrote this poem in 9th grade, called The Pivot. It talked about this pivot point, to turn one direction is one life. It is a life full of questions with answers and comfort. The other way is a long road, many questions with few answers. This life is a journey.

So I think I've finally hit this pivot. Tiffany was talking about how this happens sometimes, you reach a point where you either chose the road to improvement and mastery or chose the road of comfort. I do not want to do anything else with my life, I do not want to major in Russian nor do I just want to be an educator. Education is not a back-up, I believe that all of the knowledge I'm gaining is making me a better musician. And I also believe that I will enjoy teaching very much. HOWEVER- I want my freaking turn in the spotlight. I see concerts and I feel a pull to be up on the stage. When I feel the most comfortable it is when I'm sitting in an ensemble and just surrounded by music. THIS. IS. WHAT. I. WANT.

I know that I've said that I'm realizing how much it takes, but this time I am making the conscious choice to stop being scared. I am not going to be hesitant. I am not going to be overly-concerned about working around other people. I am done with reflecting and letting personal problems get in the way. You wanna know why? Cause fuck that. I am strong, smart, and I don't need you to like to me to prove my self worth.

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.